"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.
The amount of work is the same." ~Francesca Reigler

Friday, January 30, 2015

Jeanie's Big Adventure

Today finds me missing my two nieces for some odd reason. This was taken a month ago. I think they were at the symphony. Their Papa (my dad) would be proud of that. They're beautiful young women. I'm so proud of them. And ya know what? I think both have been on TV. The one on the left, Iggy,  was in an episode of Baby's First Day on TLC. and the youngest, Bah,  was on Randy to the Rescue, also on TLC. Must be a family thing. The eldest is a post-partum nurse at a large hospital, and the youngest is in product development for a gift and home dec wholesaler. Iggy takes after my brother, quiet and clever... and Bah is my personality doppelganger -- she's crazy! Both have incredible hearts.

Well, yesterday was a big day. My friend Kathy picked me up for my hair appointment. My hair was getting to shaggy and needed some thinning out and shaping. So ten pounds off and I still have longish hair. That's what happens when you let it go for three months. Yikes. It's one of those deals when my hair looks longer now that its cut, than it did before. My hair grows long... but it also tends to grow out and bushy. Now that it's no longer bushy, it looks longer. Makes sense?

I'm also seeing way more gray these days, but I'm okay with that. I earned it.

After the hair appointment, I treated my friend to lunch at our favorite mediterranean joint. I got to catch up with the owner and the staff. It's been a month since I've been there. I like their food becuase it is so good and fresh. The owner is a nice young man from Iran. He works so hard and is a really good guy. And he and his cousin make really good food!

Then I made a quick trip to staples to buy some Elmer's School Glue sticks for my quilting project. A box of 30 is way cheaper than the sewing/fabric glue.

I was beat by the time I got home. So i rested the rest of the day. And that rest will continue today.

Today's order of duty will be taming my fabric scrap bin. I have a huge blue IKEA bag full of a bout 15 pounds of fabric scraps. I think today I will sort them/cut them into strips and squares. That way I have a "parts department" built up if I need it. Otherwise the fabric will sit there and rot. It's something I can do to help organize my studio space and keep me occupied.

Now I need to find something on audio book, netflix or hulu to engage my ears. Need to be constructive.

That's my big Friday. What's happening in your corner of the world?

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Early Start/Late Start

I woke up at 3:29 when hubby decided to get out of bed. Then I decided to stay in bed and fell back asleep until 9:48. I'll be honest in that it felt good to "sleep in".

I overdid it a bit yesterday and I'm feeling it ever so slightly today. In a frustrated fit of madness I went through the kitchen food cabinets and cleaned them out. Yikes, some stuff was in there from when we moved here. Into the trash it went. I'd work hard, then rest, then work some more, and rest. I was well within my limits, but felt I needed this mental and physical workout. Lots of bending and stretching and throwing.

It's good for the soul! ;)

Right now I'm eating breakfast/lunch. On a whim I bought some greek yogurt dip from Costco, I rarely buy stuff like this. I got it in case company came, so I'd have something light to serve. Yesterday I broke into it. Ohmyeverlovingjalapenogravy this stuff is just foodgasm city! It's pretty basic stuff, no crazy chemicals, and it's thick like a whipped cream cheese. I just want to slather it over everything! Where it shines best? Take a flour tortilla, spread some on, add onion, colored peppers, bozo beans (protein), carrots, celery, lettuce, and any other veggie you can find and make a salad wrap. The jalapeno flavor is just a mild little kick. Not overpowering or in your face at all. This stuff would seriously rock a good everything bagel as well. I'm also thinking it would rock some pasta and veggies, too.

I'm taking it easy today. My knees need a rest from the cart. So I'm just chilling here on the sofa. I'll be working on a project in a few. I need to finish cutting, sorting, and organizing the remaining few rows of my current hand-piecing project.

This morning I had crazy dreams between the two wakeup times. In one part I was at a waterside resort in a cabin. It turned high tide and the waves were crashing against the window. I wasn't scared or anything. The rest of the resort was beautiful.

I was also on this train with my family (brother and his kids joined us later). It was like I was in a movie. The family I had during the first part were all actors. I was having a secret affair with Sir Anthony Hopkins. Whoa! Where the hell does my mind come up with this stuff? Now don't go all Freud on me. I just think it happened to pop up when my brain started to put bits and pieces of info together. (Remember, I think dreaming is the brain doing a defrag utility and is trying to logically put things together. Or in my case, not). There was a certain level of intrigue with this portion of the dream. It involved a relative with a secret...

One of these days I need to write a book. Either that or quit reading... LOL!

Quiet night tonight. Jamie is going out with her friends, so that leaves hubby and I to ourselves. I'm sure we'll just take things easy tonight. He's still stressed out about work (I feel helpless). And with me being down, I'm no help. This too shall pass.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tuesday's Talk

Well, I had my first fall today, luckily it was me just tripping onto the sofa, so I had a good cushion on the ending. LOL! I am surprised I haven't fallen sooner. I'm sure there will be more.

I'm able to get up and downstairs by myself if my housemates haven't moved my scooters and such. I'm looking forward to the days my knees won't bear the brunt of recovery.

Yesterday I got my incision checked and my bandage changed. I got a good photo of what my foot looks like. I'm bruised up around the heel and the incision area, but no blood. just a tiny 1.5" incision all glued and stitched up. My foot is still quite swollen, but that will take months to go away.

I was comparing frankenfoot pics with my youngest niece, who's had several major foot surgeries and she won. She had a rod sticking out of her pinky toe. By the way, her feet are fine.

I'll be home for the next two days. Then on Thursday I have a hair appointment. A much-needed hair appointment. My last one was in October and I have "big" hair right now. Just need to get it neatened up. My hair is fine but thick and it grows out more than long.

Not much to blog about. The clinic yesterday was wild. I guess it was the public clinic day at the practice downtown. There were 100 people in the waiting area of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities. I had an appointment with the cushy foot doc's nurse, so I got right in. One of the perks of the excellent health plan hubby's work provides. We are blessed.

I did talk to a young lady waiting in line for an appointment. She had left side neuromuscular spasticity and was seeking a consult on hand/arm muscles. She said she has never been able to relax her left side. She's been taking botox injections, but they are still trying to find the sweet spots. Bless her. I'm hoping she finds relaxation. We are so lucky lucky and blessed. She was a nice young lady. Seemed very bright and vibrant. It was interesting to get a impression of the drug my old company used to handle from a patient viewpoint. It personalized my job. Botox is a miracle drug and it goes beyond the cosmetic.  

I also talked to a lady who was bringing in her mom in for an appointment. She was  from Lowell, MA. I told her she was lucky she was here rather than being in blizzard town. We had fun talking about the places we've been.

Not much going on for today. Mostly same old, same old. I may head back upstairs and see if I can manage working in my sewing room. If I can't, then I'll play with some of my software and see if I can digitize an embroidery design I want to make.

Life's just not exciting right now. But hey, that's okay with me.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Post Sugery Lessons Learned

So many teaching moments for me and a few slaps of reality thrown in for good measure. I really need to get better handle on my body and sense of balance. I'm not the most graceful thing on two legs (or in this case one leg). I need to find a way to build on that.

A two story home is not ideal. But that's a given. I already knew that. In a way I wish I was in my airstream right now, as the smaller one story space is "just enough". Right now we are making it work. But it is not ideal.

Losing weight is helpful for the first one. It's the first step. Hubby and I had a discussion and I'm lowering the boom on that. Along with that, I'm not taking my mobility for granted. I need to get out and walk. If the 198-year old guy in my complex can do it, I have no excuse.

Yesterday I made it upstairs. It took about five minutes to climb the steps one by one, but I got there. I still don't have eye, leg, brain, and hand coordination enough to manage crutches. Oh well. I've got the rolling walker for upstairs. I can sit on that and roll around, and I have the knee scooter for downstairs use.

I will be lodging a complaint about the knee scooter. See that protruding bolt? Ankles don't like that. I have a huge goose egg on my good ankle from that. That really should be flush with the wheel. I'm guessing that the rental company had to fix the wheel and put that on there as some sort of retrofit. I can't believe that would be originally designed into the scooter. And I'm sure my complaint will fall on deaf ears, but I gotta say it.

I'm hoping to get out in a few. The sun is shining and I feel like taking advantage of it. Off to Mukilteo to look at the lighthouse, the Sound, some airplanes and mountains.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Checking In

Things are humming along. The surgery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was quite easy peasy. They put me in "twilight" mode and did their thing. I was up and at em just shortly after they finished. In fact, the doc was dictating the surgery notes as I woke up. Spent about 15 minutes or so in recovery and was out of the hospital well before noon.

I've had some pain, but nothing really over a 5 or 6 out of ten. The doc gave me really good pain meds, and I'm trying to wean off them today. I'm scared of addictive properties of the med. I took a 1/2 pill this morning and will chase it with a tylenol in a few hours. If I get off those, they will go in the safe. I don't want them out and about.

The first night was kinda rough in that I think I elevated my foot too high, but I have since taken care of that.

Getting around the house is a challenge, but I can do more than I thought I could. The wheel base of the knee scooter does not lend well to small spaces, so I find myself up on one leg, picking up the scooter to turn it, and getting back on. The rolling walker will arrive on Tuesday, I'm hoping that will be better. We've moved furniture around to make things easier, but spaces are still tight.

The funny thing is that I broke a toilet seat last night. Trying to find the right position to sit with only one good leg is harder than you think. I broke the top off the day before, then yesterday I slid into the seat and broke it in half. Those cheap MDF seats hurt when they break. LOL! We got a good laugh and luckily I didn't hurt myself.

I gotta say that the staff at Harborview were awesome. Loved my pre-op nurse. She's been here 20+ years from Boston. Oh and the resident assisting my young doc was very easy on the eyes, as was the anesthesia guy. Oh my, I may have had the vapors. LOL! I'm talking I wish I were 25 again and really loose kind of cute! (wink). But alas, I'm 52, fat, and married. Life is unfair at times. LOL!

Today I have company coming. She's a good friend so I know she won't mind the holes and stains on my favorite lime green lounging tee shirt (aka "my lucky shirt"). Hey, I even sprung for a matching lime green bandanna on my head. I'm styling.

Hubby and Jamie have been good. Last night hubby cooked dinner. Spaghetti. It was interesting watching him cook. The kitchen is my domain. I think tonight is going to be chili dogs if I can remind him to get hot dog buns.

I'm going to do some hand-sewing today. Need to finish my hand project so I can start a new one.  That's about it! Not much else going on.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Thank you!

Today is another sunny day. Yay! So glad it's sunny. I need the vitamin D.

Thank you for the kick in the butt and the reality check. I know I am lucky in that I'll be ambulatory again. And that is quite different from some folks who aren't as fortunate. I'm over the panic and have my big girl pants on.

Last night hubby and I had a date, while Jamie went out with friends. It was fun meeting her friends. She has a friend (Stephanie) coming over today and will be spending the night. I'm sure there will be lots of girl giggling and stuff. I cleaned up my studio for them, so they can sew.

I also went on a snack run to Costco. That way if folks come over I have something to share. I should have bought a birthday cake to say goodbye to the broken bone. Darn! That would have been a fun treat for everyone. Might have to make one tonight.

Tonight's dinner is a build your own burrito bar. I figured the girls will find that fun.  After I finish this blog entry I'll be hitting the kitchen to make a pot of sausage vegetable soup for lunches. that way I get my veggies in. That and do some laundry so I can build my "bed" downstairs on the sofa. I started getting my sofa-side cart ready and the last minute toiletry items for use downstairs. I just need to bring down linens and stuff. I'm thinking that for the first five days I'll be downstairs, then after that I'll get up and downstairs when hubby goes to work/goes to bed.

Last night I took the advice from my friend Denise and got one of those walker chair thingies. Ordered it from Amazon. I never thought I'd use my Amazon Christmas gift card for that (Thank you Marty!). It's got a wide seat and is reinforced for up to 400 lb if I need to sit and has a basket for holding stuff. Denise said it was way more stable for her, than the knee scooter plus the seat was the better height for one leg or both. Seeing that it was $60, I figured it was worth a try.

That shipped out today and It should come in soon.

I'm taking a deep breath right now and sucking it up. I'm savoring my last day of mobility. It is amzing what things we do take for granted.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Oh sh**t moment

Today I had a meltdown. It didn't last long because I talked it out to a friend who went through the same thing a short while ago.

I got out the crutches and the scooter today and tried them out. As for mobility and independence, I'm screwed. Plain. Simple. I cannot get the crutches to work for me. I just fell down. Not safe. The scooter is okay, but not ideal. Another fall hazard. The turning radius of the scooter is like a semi-truck in this small space. I'm bad enough on two feet with klutziness, add in the medical equipment and I'm a second away from disaster.

I came close to sitting down and crying, but I stopped just short of that.

I'm trying to be big and brave about this, but I'm faltering a smidge. And yes, I'm scared. Having one's mobility taken away is a very scary thing.  And as much as I do have things under control, I need to admit there are things I don't have under control. That's a tough thing to swallow. And I think this is a life lesson I'll be learning this go-around. For me that's going to be a very difficult life lesson to learn.

I have no choice in the situation, but I can choose how I react.

I pray that I make the right decisions, and that I learn from this. I hope I learn that it's okay to sometimes be dependent. Dependence is extremenly counter-intuitive to the way way I was raised. Being raised in a special needs household, you learn that a lot of your needs are up to you, no use asking for help. There was no time for those needy moments. There were always other things to do. I'll admit, this is going to be tough for the gosh-darn independent control-freak fixer in me. I won't be able to fix this and I won't have as much control over it as I thought. That's what's scary. Big time scary to me.

I already apologized to Jamie in advance for being grumpy. We had that "If I am irritated, it's not you talk" She just smiled and said, "I know that, don't worry." Bless her.

I will have that talk with Bill as well.

This is going to be a tough one.